Lost But Not Forgotten
by cool-trek1
Summary: What happens when Harry loses his memory and can't find himself again? Will he ever remember? Does he even want to remember? Please read and review! I just finished chapter 3 :)
1. Chapter 1

**Lost But Not Forgotten**

The burning pain of the famous lightening bolt scar only infuriated Harry more. He hadn't asked for this. He hadn't wanted to be famous. He hadn't wanted to be destined to challenge a dark wizard to a duel to the death. Then again, when had anything he wanted ever come true? The bitter thoughts welled up in his head, and the anger only made his scar ache worse. 

Thankfully, Hedwig swooped down through the window, and landed on Harry's bed. Harry sighed as he looked at the message attached to Hedwig's leg. He wasn't sure if he could take any more sympathy from his friends. The trip back home had been long enough, not to mention the past week at the Dursley's house. However, atleast they we're trying to care.

"Thanks, Hediwg." Harry tried to smile as he removed the parchment from Hedwig. She nipped at his ear, and then flew out to the window sill. The silhouette of Hedwig against the moon reminded him of Hogwarts, which started him down a train of thought that once again plunged him into a maddening fury. His scar burned still, and he thought he felt Voldemort laughing. Angry he heaved a pillow onto the floor. Anything louder and he may attract the attention of his aunt or uncle. 

The letter still clenched in his fist, Harry considered ignoring it. Then, he figured he might as well read some more empty words. Words couldn't bring Sirius back. Words couldn't fill the hole in his heart. Still, Harry unrolled the parchment. Hoping that it would be news that Ron wanted him to come and stay.  Instead, it was from Dumbledore himself. 

**_Dear Harry:_**

**_            I have some things I must tell you. However, I know that you will probably not want to see me. Please put aside your anger, and consent to just a few minutes of your time. I will call for you promptly at _**_5:00 PM_****_ tomorrow. _****

**_Professor Albus Dumbledore_**

Harry reread the letter several times. He didn't understand. What more could Dumbledore say? Harry crumpled the parchment angrily. He took out a quill and some parchment and tried to think of a reply.  No words could come to his mind, however, and he stuffed the quill and parchment back into his desk. Perhaps, he'd think of something later.

A loud crash followed by a scream and a groan interrupted Harry's thoughts. Harry's mind flew several different directions at once. Who or what was in his house, and did he even care enough to find out? Harry instinctively grabbed for his wand. No matter what, he would be sure he was armed before he went anywhere outside his room. 

He charged down the stairs, and rushed into the kitchen. There on the floor was a dirty mass of fur that upon closer inspection proved to be a puppy. Harry shook his head, and returned his wand to his pocket. As Harry bent down to get a closer look, Dudley came rushing over. 

"Harry, you can't tell mom. This is my dog. His name is Killer."

Harry laughed, "Killer?" Harry frowned and stood to his full height. "More like mudpile. Where'd you find him? The dump?"

"Come off it, Harry! Don't even bother!" Dudley pushed Harry onto the floor. "Go back to your room, and don't say a word, or I swear I'll…" Dudley held up his fists as if he were preparing to fight.

"Oh whatever…and to think I thought something important was going on here."

Harry grumbled as he went back upstairs. He listened as the dog barked menacingly at Dudley. Harry closed the door to his room, and fell onto his bed. The crumpled ball of parchment crackled under him. He again thought of replying to Dumbledore. Then his mind went back to that scene in Dumbledore's office. No, he wouldn't reply. What was there to be said?

Another crash reverberated through the house. He could hear Dudley and a furious Uncle Vernon arguing. That'll teach him, Harry thought. He sat up and stretched, and then walked to the window. It was going to be a long summer.

Harry woke with a start. He suddenly had an urge for a bowl of ice cream. Perhaps it was because he had been dreaming about it, or maybe because he had skipped dinner. Harry reached for his glasses and glanced at the clock. Two o'clock and he wanted ice cream. Surely there was no harm in a trip downstairs?

Harry slowly got out of bed and reached for his dressing gown. He tiptoed out of his room, carefully leaving his door open a crack. If Harry woke up his aunt and uncle, they'd think he was trying to steal something or at least causing trouble. That would never do, they'd lock him away in his room again. Not that Harry minded in the least bit. 

At the top of the stairs Harry paused. He thought he heard movement. His heart began to beat faster, and he felt a drop of sweat drip down his forehead. His scar began to throb like crazy. He forced himself not to double over in pain. It hadn't hurt this bad since…Harry pulled his thoughts away from Sirius. Not now, he told himself. 

His stomach growled and Harry continued down the steps, focusing on the chocolate ice cream that awaited him in the freezer. He focused so hard in fact that he didn't notice the sleeping dark shadow on the third to last step. Harry tripped, fell, and rolled down the last few steps landing with a painful crunch on the first floor landing. His head hit the wooden floor, and he was bearly conscious of a a dog barking. 

It all seemed so far away. The screaming, the angry voices of his aunt and uncle. The dog howling. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't…A blackness swirled around him, and mercifully took over his thoughts. 


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

****

            "What do you mean, he won't wake up?" He was barely conscience of a girl's voice. She continued yelling, as he tried to figure out what was going on. The heaviness of his eyelids and the numb feeling across his entire body left little alternative but to listen to the conversation around him. 

            "Miss Granger. Please, listen to me." A rough, yet soothing voice tried to reason with the angry girl. What was she so angry about? Did it have to do with him?

            "I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" The shrill voice made his head ache. As he thought about it though, it wasn't his head really, just this certain part of his forehead. 

            He listened as several objects seemed to fall around him. They must be having a fight or something. Finally, the crashing objects subsided and he heard someone begin to sob. 

            "Hermoine, will you just listen a minute?" Another voice tried to comfort the girl. His voice sounded so familiar, yet it was all so far away. 

            "Harry has suffered a concussion and a few broken limbs…"

            "But he's had broken bones before. He had a broken arm that one time…" The boy's voice protested. 

            "Yeah, and Madam Pomfery just re-grew the bone. Can't you just do that this time? Why won't he wake up?" The girl's voice sounded desperate. As if he we're dying or something. 

            "We have healed Harry's physical wounds. There are internal wounds now that have to heal." 

A door opened and closed. A different voice commanded attention, "Hermoine, Ron, let's let Harry rest in peace now. Come on, we can go get something to eat. I'm sure that Professor Dumbledore will notify us the minute something changes. No, no buts, let's go. Harry will be fine." Several protests went unnoticed as he listened to the door slam shut. 

"Harry?" The voice he now knew to belong to Professor Dumbledore called to him. "Harry, I know you can hear me." The professor uttered several words and Harry began to feel a tingling sensation throughout his body.  

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking and trying to adjust to the harsh lighting. His eyes scanned the room looking for something, or even just someone, familiar. 

"Harry, I know you don't recognize me yet. But you will in time I hope. Please, I ask you to trust me now."

"Who? I don't understand…What?"

"Yes, I'm sure you have many questions. I'll help you get started. Do you know who you are?"

"I…" Harry's forehead throbbed. His hand went to touch it, and he was surprised to find a lightening bolt etched into his forehead.

"Do you know where you are?"

Harry remained silent, staring up at the old man questioningly. Then finally he said, "No, sir."

"You are at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I am Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster. You are Harry Potter."

"Why am I here?"

"You had an accident. Some more recent events demand our attention right now, I'm afraid." Dumbledore pulled a chair up next to Harry's bed. 

"What do you mean?" Harry was confused. How could something be more important than regaining one's memory?

"In time…Now, I must ask you to trust me. There are some things that you and I must discuss. It is vital to your survival."

"I suppose I have no choice but to trust you." Harry rubbed his forehead.  It must have been some accident. 

"Good, I'm glad to see that we understand each other. Now listen closely, Harry."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

****

Professor Dumbledore stroked his beard, trying to decide a tactful way to break the news to Harry.  Harry sat staring expectantly at him, bracing himself for what he was sure was not good news. 

"Harry, you are a wizard. Not only are you a wizard, but you are a rather famous one. You've noticed the lightening bolt shaped scar on your forehead?" Dumbledore turned his back to Harry, and Harry was sure he saw the old man shudder. "That scar came from one of the most evil wizards that the world has ever seen, Lord Voldemort."

"Um, sir." Harry stammered. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Be patient, Harry." Dumbledore still faced the wall, not wanting to look Harry in the eye. "You and Lord Voldemort are to battle to the death someday Harry. You must face him. The prophecy states that you are the only one that can defeat him." Finally Dumbledore turned to face Harry. "In your weakened state now though, you are too vulnerable…"

"Vulnerable? I am not…"Harry forced himself out of his bed and onto his feet. "I am not vulnerable…just because I don't…" The world around Harry began to swirl and he grabbed the bed for support. "Just because I can't remember who I am, doesn't mean that I'm a weakling."

"Now that's the spirit of the Harry Potter I know." Dumbledore helped Harry back into bed. "Listen to me Harry. I know that I've made some mistakes in the past by not telling you the whole story about everything. Please, forgive me, but what I said was true. Lord Voldemort has captured Petunia Dursley." Harry stared blankly at Dumbledore. "Your aunt, Harry…"

"My Aunt?" Harry exploded. "I'll…"

"Calm down. We have the best aurors out looking for her. For right now, you won't be doing anything. Pease, listen Harry. On the night of your accident two days ago, as everyone was distracted with taking care of you, someone kidnapped Petunia, and put a nasty curse on your uncle and cousin." Dumbledore gestured toward the two beds opposite Harry's.  There Harry saw two stiffened forms: one very large man and one very large boy.

"Petrified…but with a new hex that we can't seem to figure out yet. It'll be some time before we can undo the curse." Dumbledore reached his hand into his robes. "I know it's in here somewhere…" Harry's eyes grew wide as he began to pull rolls of parchment, quills, bottles, even a dove from within his robe. "Ah…here it is…" Dumbledore pulled a small vial from his robe. "These enchanted pockets are handy for carrying things, but I tend to forget which pocket I place them in. "This serum will return your memory to you."

"What? You mean that all this time, you had that in your pocket?" Harry's face grew hot. "Why didn't you give it to me in the first place?"

"Harry. This serum has side effects. That is why you must decide. Your memory will return in time, perhaps, on its own. However, we don't' know if we can afford that time." Dumbledore handed the vial to Harry. 

"What sort of side effects?" Harry turned the purple vial in his hands, wiping the dust from its surface. There was no label on the bottle, just dust. Harry examined the bottom, noticing a small skull and crossbones. "Will this kill me?" 

"I don't know, Harry. As far as I have researched, no. However, it may cause you to lose consciousness and become trapped in past memories. You could essentially live your whole life again, moment by moment inside your head over and over again. There is no way to reverse that. However, more than likely, you would re-live those moments your sub-conscious was trying to forget."

"You mean, I was trying to forget something and that's why I can't remember anything?"

"The human mind has built a defense for itself, Harry." Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "When a traumatic experience occurs, the mind is flooded by emotions that it can't control. A knock on the head like yours, then sends it into a hibernated state. Thus, your mind is clear of the grief and the pain, however empty of all of its memories. Your memory is in your head somewhere, Harry. Eventually it will come back with or without this potion. Sometimes another knock in the head, will help. Sometimes, a person or an object will trigger it."

"So what do I do?" The scar on Harry's head began to burn again. "I don't think I understand."

"You have two choices. Try to regain your memory on your own, or take this potion and hope that it comes back. Harry…there's something else you should know…" Dumbledore again reached into the pocket of his robes, but this time he quickly succeeded in retrieving it. "This, Harry, was received by owl no less than two hours ago." Harry took the piece of parchment from Dumbledore. It was addressed to "_Harry Potter, Hospital wing, Hogwarts." It read:_

_"I have taken possession of the muggle woman. If you wish to see her alive, meet me at the former home of Sir Edward Edgerton esq. I will expect you promptly at __8:00__ tomorrow night. If you are even a second later, I shall dispose of her."_

There was no signature on the parchment, but Harry reasoned where it had come from. "So I have to go and meet this Lord Voldemort, huh? Tommorow? What if I don't regain my memory in time? I don't know any magic…do I?"

"Harry, you must decide what to do. You can hope to recover your memory before tomorrow night, or you can take the potion and take the gamble. Whatever you decide, it must be soon." Just as Harry opened his mouth to reply, a tall man with menacing eyes and black hair stepped out of the shadow. "Servus? Dumbledore turned around. "I was just explaining to Harry about the potion."

"Sir, I found an expert on the memory retrieval potions. I have discovered the effects the potion will have on the mind."

"Good work Servus. Enlighten us, please."

"This potion takes effect immediately. It will force the memories that have been suppressed to resurface. He will be forced to relive the memories his mind is trying to forget. This could be painful, but will restore his memory without any lasting long-term effects to his physical health. However…"

"I see. His mental health? Reliving painful memories is tough, but I think Harry can withstand them if he so chooses."

"I would regain all my memory? Just like that?"

"The full effect would take several hours of real time. However to you, it may seem longer." Servus frowned at Harry. 

"Let's do it." Harry pulled the cork stopper from the vial. 

"Are you sure, Harry?" Dumbledore frowned. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do. I have to be there tomorrow. If I'm not he'll kill my aunt. I have to do something about it. There's no other way." Harry raised the vial and held it near his mouth. "Bottoms up!" Harry quickly gulped the contents of the vial. The burning liquid seared his throat, and instead of traveling into his stomach, went to his head. The purple vial shattered to the floor as Harry fell back on the pillows. The darkness swirled around him, and swallowed him whole. 


End file.
